I had to hand it to my new friend, he really knew how to cook some mean infra.
The explosions went off without a hitch. It seemed almost effortless as NPL had let free such utter devastation on our enemies. I had never seen such wild-eyed precision and such dedication to the fine art of atomic weapons engineering and deployment.
"That's beautiful," I grinned as I passed over a cold one to my friend, "those Guru friends of ours were sure right about y'all."
NPL waved off my compliment with a grin, "that ain't nothing."
"No, really, bud," I shook my head, "you're an artist at this."
NPL chuckled. "You haven't heard me play 'Tubular Bells' yet, watch!"
He stabbed another button on his firing panel and in the distance I could hear the rumble of additional missiles launching from their racks emitting from his console speaker. I grabbed my binoculars and focused them onto the distant range.
One after another, each nuclear payload was delivered, on target and in a tight formation. There were several flashes of light in the distance and I braced myself for the concussion waves, which rattled the reinforced bunker down to its very foundations.
"Wow, but can you play 'Classical Gas?'" I chortled as my elbow gently jostled him in the ribs.
"No," NPL replied, "but I can draw out a Farkistan Beer logo on the moon if I wanted..." His right index finger hovering over another set of launch buttons.
I regarded him for a moment. I knew for sure right then we would be best pals from that day forward.
"Ya know something, NPL?" I asked as I tipped my hat to my friend, "I think this is the start of a beautiful nuclear winter!"
NPL shook his head. "Bogart, seriously?" he chided as he stabbed another button. Another missile lifted from its launcher and started on a strange trajectory, exploding in the air above us with a massive boom. "Couldn't you have come up with a better way of announcing our upgrade than this???"
Two Suns In the Sunrise
Article 1 Sovereignty
NPL and Farkistan recognize that while they share a common interest in nuclear holocaust and missile deployment, their tastes in movies are vastly different. That's ok, it's cool. Certain boundaries should be respected at all times, especially 905's private beer fridge.
Article 2 Nonaggression and Espionage
Farkistan and NPL promise to not attack each other as well as promising not to spy on each other. Seems simple enough. If there happens to be an awkward moment, the offending alliance shall pay 150% reps to the other.
Article 3 Mutual defense
If someone attacks either Farkistan or NPL though, they'll have both to deal with. Farkistan and NPL don't take too kindly to folks interrupting their special time together at the missile range or at the bar either. If one gets attacked, the other promises to help out.
Article 4 Optional Offense
If one of the signatories decides to attack another alliance aggressively, the other signatory is not obligated to join in unless they desire to do so.
Article 5 Intelligence and Aid
Both signatories agree to help each other out by providing intelligence and aid where necessary.
Article 6 Cancellation
If some unforeseen disappearance of all the beer and uranium stocks on Bob were to occur or if Fark and NPL decide to part ways, a 72 hour grace period goes into effect after notice is provided.
Signed on this day under the nuclear fallout above us all,
For Farkistan:
905, Submitter
ManwithplanX, Squirrel
Alphabravo42, Speaker of the Council
Smontag, Total Fark Council
Jaromayo, Total Fark Council
Mr Vicarious, Total Fark Council
Kahiel, Total Fark Council
For the Nuclear Proliferation League:
KemMo, Triumvir
King Wally, Triumvir
Morjon, Triumvir
Smurthewaite, Lord of Foreign Affairs
Gofast2006, Lord of Defense
Paramix, Lord of Recruiting
Kirkhill, Lord of Economics
MildlyInsane, Lord of Education
